Sometimes Parenting Can Be So Hard-- Why Can't Someone Just Simplify My Life?

The First Word: Relax

Parenting is more difficult than most people ever expect. It is easy to feel so overwhelmed and so helpless. There is so much to figure out and so much to know; but remember, everyone is in the same boat. Neither you nor I have ever met the expert parent. In fact, i would feel frightened for the children of any adult who thinks he or she is expert, no less perfect.

Fortunately for all of us, children thrive with parents who are just good enough. Good enough parents need to use the bathroom while their kids entertain themselves. We have bad days and better days. We get busy and we need our own down time. We love our kids. We cook, teach, pray, have some fun and make mistakes.

Parents who are good enough cannot solve all their children's problems or sooth their every hurt -- in fact this supplies one of the most important life lessons of childhood -- sometimes even children need to depend on themselves to feel better, cope with pain or boredom, .

So, relax. Take a breath, have a cup of coffee. Practice self-care, and have quiet contemplative moments. Enjoy a book or piece of music. Get some sun on your face. If you feel as though you are not a good enough parent today, remember, raising a child to age 18 doesn't begin and end in one day; it takes nearly 7000 days.

Take time to watch small children and their parents, and see whether you notice something very profound -- while parents often divide their attention between their kids and the world around them, whether traffic in the street, the prices on store shelves, or cell-phone conversations, young children seem entranced and captivated by their moms and dads. They watch closely, studiously, paying careful attention to their parents faces.

If you are the parent of a baby or preschooler, just seeing you fascinates and delights your child. Your child learns about the world, and knows when she is safe by studying you. She expresses love with her eyes, much as you can too.

Opportunities to look at your baby or small child should not be wasted. Carry your child facing you. Feed your child in your arms, not one of those ubiquitous baby buckets. Face your child's stroller seat so you and she can talk to one another.

Read Parenting and Simple Gifts for the Third Word!